The Werewolf 10 for (un)Death-Match

[I'm vouching for werewolves for the moment, until vampires become good and creepy again. You can throw your support towards either side at (un)Death-Match.]

Twilight has made a bold attempt to turn vampires into wimps, and with that mopey sequel in theatres, werewolves are getting the pre-teen treatment, too. Alas. I fear for the youth of today.

For your benefit, here are some facts you should know about werewolves:

1. A werewolf would eat you.
2. A werewolf doesn't care about your feelings.
3. A werewolf won't hold your hand while you cry.
4. Lon Chaney Jr. > Taylor Lautner times ONE MILLION.
5. Benecio Del Toro > Taylor Lautner... and I haven't seen The Wolf Man remake, yet! My assumption is based off of the ridiculous poster. See:

BAD ASS.

If you agree with the statements above... then read on! Here are a few of my favourite werewolves in television and film.

1. An American Werewolf in London
We have many things to thank John Landis for (and a few things to loath him for). My personal favourite of his is An American Werewolf in London, which successfully merges horror and comedy to create a really fun film. Two American backpackers are travelling around the UK when they're attached by a mysterious beast. Don't go out to the moors at night, OK?

2. Ginger Snaps
Growing up sucks! Two creepy sisters, Ginger and Bridgitte, are having fun being morbid and stuff when A) Ginger gets her period for the first time and B) Is subsequently bitten by a werewolf. Isn't puberty the worst? As Ginger gets scarier and scarier, her sister tries to find a way to cure her. Awesome Canadian film!

3. The Wolf Man
This film is like the Holy Bible of werewolf flicks. It introduced the notion that a silver bullet can kill a werewolf, that they are forced to change under a full moon, and that they are supposedly marked with a pentagram. Lon Chaney Jr. portrays a man who goes to visit his ancestral home when he is attacked by a werewolf. His performance in this film is chock full of guilt and torment, leaving the audience more sympathetic than scared. The make-up in this movie is ridiculous, especially when you account for it being 1941 and all.

4. The Howling
Joe Dante, I love you! Please do a sequel to The 'burbs. Another great 1980s werewolf movie. A TV news anchor heads to a commune-esque clinic to take a break after being traumatized by a serial killer. Fun party, right? NOPE. Straaaaaaange things happen once she arrives. What she doesn't know is that there is a "den" of werewolves nearby... dun dun DUNNNN.

5. Wolfen
OK, so they're not really werewolves... just really smart wolves who decide they're hungry for MAN FLESH. Features kind of heavy-handed social commentary and views of urban decay in New York City. If that doesn't interest you, your boyfriend Edward James Olmos is in it.

6. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Seth Green plays an introspective teenager named Oz who plays lead guitar in Dingos Ate My Baby and turns into a werewolf every once in a while. By dating Willow the witch, he becomes part of the Scooby Gang until things go decidedly bad and he leaves town. Oz is mostly well behaved and only occasionally eats people.

7. The Hilarious House of Frightenstein
This amazing 1970s Canadian kids show had a cast of creepy characters, but The Wolfman stood out for me as being the best. The guy has a bunch of things going for him... he's a DJ, he gets to listen to Sly and the Family Stone all day, sports a fashionable beard, and has excellent dance parties with Igor. Lucky.

8. Werewolves on Wheels
A biker gang smashes up the monastery of some Satan-worshipping monks. OH NO! But the monks have a trick up their sleeve, as they have turned one of the biker chicks into a werewolf via their evil powers... with dire results, mwahahha.

9. Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too
Michael J. Fox is an average guy, but then he turns into a werewolf and is a BASKETBALL STAR and A TOTAL STUD. But what he wants most is to be normal. Sigh.
Jason Bateman stars in the so-bad-it's-kinda-good sequel with basically the same plot. Except he's in college. And the sport is boxing. OK.

10. Dog Soldiers
British soldiers are on a training operation in Scotland, which, unfortunately, is overrun with werewolves. And the full moon is rising. Well, darn it. The soldiers fight for their lives as they attempt to live through the night. A pretty tense movie with lots of jumpy moments.

Bright lights... bright lights!

Through the use of magic powers and an afternoon spent wandering around Google Wave, I have successfully combined a cool fundraiser, the Internets, and the 1980s.

1. The cool fundraiser is Bust a Move, which is raising money for new digital mammography equipment for local hospials.
2. The internets are being represented by these ladies.
3. The 1980s make an appearance in the form of...

GREMLINS!!!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!

Re-experience the movie that you both feared and loved as a child! Ignore the fact that Howie Mandel is involved! Rejoice as Corey Feldman says and does awesome things!

The movie will be screened at the Public Archives Building on December 16th at 7:00 PM. Come one, come all. Awesome retro attire encouraged. Someone please invite Joe Dante.

Bonfires burning bright, pumpkin faces in the night...

Halloween was almost a disaster. During some kind of strange musical theatre fit, I decided that I would purchase a giant orange wig and maid's uniform and go as Magenta from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Magenta and I have a lot in common... the overuse of eye make-up, the weird friends, and her secret double-life as an alien all come to mind.

Two days before Halloween the eBay seller that I had ordered said items from mysteriously canceled our transaction. What for? The package they sent had come back to them damaged, and I was out of luck. Eff you, eBay.

I knew I still wanted to be someone from a movie, and preferably a horror movie. Women in horror movies don't tend to have quite as much luck as men, and definitely don't have the iconic costumes of say, Jason, Freddy, or Michael Myers. I toyed briefly with the idea of going as Carrie, but figured that was an outdoor sort of costume, and I didn't want to ruin anyone's furniture (or wash fake blood out of my hair).

I ended up with the idea of a classic movie dame, Janet Leigh, as she appears in the movie Psycho. Leigh plays Marion Crane, who, in one of the most famous scenes ever in film, is stabbed to death in the shower.

This was more of a Psycho-themed costume (vs. a straight Janet Leigh get-up), as I didn't have the time to find a proper wig... if I was going to replicate her look I would also have done something to look wet. Maybe would have sported a towel. Who knows.

So, for my costume I purchases a few shower curtains from the dollar store. I laid them flat on the floor and covered them in heathy dollops of fake blood (also from the dollar store--less thick and sticky than homemade). I allowed the blood to dry for a bit before folding the curtains in half and sealing the edges with tape. This allowed for the liquid to move around in a Rorschach-y kind of way.

My wig, also from the dollar store, was pretty ghetto. The colour was awful, but that's what you get two days before Halloween. I hacked it up so it was fairly short, but couldn't take a lot off as my real hair would have shown too much.

Underneath the bloody mess I sported a nude-coloured mini-dress from American Apparel and some nude tights. I taped the shower curtains into an odd dress, threw on some make-up and more fake-blood, and voila... a costume that no one was able to recognize, but at least I thought it was cool.

(Andrew was a convincing Einstein.)

Over the course of the night it was suggested that I was Lady Gaga, Laura Palmer (awesome, actually), and Marilyn Monroe. Next year I may try to be something more clearly identifiable, but hey, for two days I think I did OK. Onto next year...

Things That Are True

1. Concert tickets are expensive

I have given chunks of my salary to Slayer (yes), Megadeth (awesome), Stone Temple Pilots (admittedly a little lame but WHATEVER, internet), and Aussie Pink Floyd Show (for the fourth time). Still speculating whether I'll make an appearance the English Beat show. Or get smuggled into Wilco. Time will tell.

2. Nocturne was awesome

This was a blast! I wish I was able to see more, but what I did check out was the most fun. Major highlight: lots of free apple cider. Somehow ended up hanging out on top of another downtown Halifax building as a closer to the evening. Made other "roof crawlers" nervous.

3. I like Halloween

Forsaking my zombie heritage and box of spirit gum, dermawax, and blood gel, my Halloween costume will be gore free. The experience of picking prosthetics off of my face after the Zombie Walk was an unhappy one. Unlike the undead, I need my skin firmly attached to my body. My 2009 costume involves a big red wig and a black dress. All shall be revealed.

4. The internet is fun

I'm blogging at the new Spacing Atlantic website in a feature called From the Vaults. So far I've talked about the Capitol Theatre and the Halifax Memorial Library. Looking forward to sharing fun photos and stories about Nova Scotian landmarks.

5. Borscht is delicious

Andrew is making a hearty meal for the Russian party he's having on Friday. There will be great music and good people. Hopefully the awesome furry hat from the last Russian party makes an appearance, along with many bottles of vodka.

6. Planning trips is great

Europe 2: Electric Boogaloo might happen next fall. This trip centers on Germany during Oktoberfest, with train rides to Switzerland and Belgium. Fingers crossed. I still haven't visited my favourite city, Prague, but I think that will have to be another trip.

7. I am learning a lot about film

And will be learning a lot more once this work project really starts rolling. Right now I'm getting the basics on care and handling of film, and its preservation. I'm also getting to know the archives' film holdings quite a bit. Nerd glee.

8. Dartmouth is the best

...but the youth that hang around my street look like they want to beat me up and steal my lunch money. They would use that lunch money to get extra large slices of pepperoni pizza at Uncle Buck's on Pleasant St. They would then go to the Ultramar for chips. I'm watching them carefully...

Bust a Move!

Usually I just like to give a bit of money to charity events, but this one seemed a bit different.

To raise money for leading-edge digital mammography equipment for local hospitals, myself and 1000 other people are going to exercise for six hours at the Metro Centre on January 10th. This exercise extravaganza is called Bust a Movie, and is going to feature a celebrity fitness instructor... I won't say who, but he was featured in one of my all-time favourite Whose Line is it Anyways skits.

I'm doing this with a team of ladies affectionately known at the HalifaxChicks. We've each been tasked with raising $1000. Many women in my family have been affected by breast cancer, and some have lost their lives, so this means a lot to me. If you can give just a few dollars, it will bring me one step closer to reaching my goal. You can donate online or in person, so let me know if you're not comfortable using the website. I've added a Paypal button below, so if you want to give that way you can.

Thanks so much for your support... here's hoping I can reach my goal!

Lauren

PS--The exercise aspect of this seems like TORTURE and I will likely be in the ultra-beginner section. Crying. Eeek.

Atlantic Film Festival Review: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

"Can you put a price on your dreams?"

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus has already gone down in history as being Heath Ledger's last film. I expect that it will have a much wider audience because of this, and I'm happy that many will get to experience this adventure.

It just might be Terry Gilliam's masterpiece, filled with spectacle and layers of meaning. The CGI in this movie is fantastic, and never cartoony (my issue with the upcoming Alice in Wonderland film, which tries for weird and ends up looking boring). The traveling show of Doctor Parnassus provides the backdrop for the journey out of the real world (modern day London, filled with crumbling buildings) and into the imagination.

Every thing about this film seems to have come from a children's story book. Colour drenches the film when things are good, and when things take a turn for the worse, we find ourselves in a barren wasteland or endless snow-covered field. The archetypal characters play roles we've seen in many a fairy tale. The old man, powerful but not especially wise. His beautiful daughter, desired by many. A mysterious stranger with a dark past. And, of course, the bad guy... in this case, the Devil.

The story told by the film is not the strongest, but it does not diminish the wonder you feel being pulled into the world of the imagination. It reads as Doctor Faustus meets (fittingly) the Brothers Grimm. The immortal Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) has made a wager with the Devil (Tom Waits), and he has come to collect. The prize is Parnassus' daughter, the beautiful Valentina (Lily Cole). When Parnassus is given one more chance to save his daughter, the stranger Tony (Heath Ledger) enters their lives and changes everything.

Although there are a few scenes made mighty uncomfortable by the thought of Ledger's passing hanging over head, this is a good role for him to be remembered by. The darkness of the Joker is forgotten, and replaced by a charming but deeply flawed man who makes us laugh while trying to get away with it all.

While Ledger is the most talked-about actor in this production, Plummer is the true star, though it may not be apparent until the film is over and you realize its his story we've been told. He is both majestic and broken, and plays a convincing drunk.

Tom Waits, in a role he has been rehearsing for decades, I imagine, is outright perfect as Mr. Nick--the Devil. Mr. Nick is dressed to the nines, pencil mustache included, and hides in the shadows when he isn't taunting Parnassus. He had the audience absolutely shaking with laughter, and by all means should take this character to the studio and pen Songs of Mr. Nick: The Devil Made Me Do It.

In one of her first acting roles, Lily Cole flexes her supermodel legs in lovely, flowing costumes. Her surreal features fit into the bigger-than-life scenery like she was simply plucked from Gilliam's brain. Apparently she has been cast to play Alice in Marilyn Manson's movie about Lewis Carroll, Phantasmagoria (Manson plays the titular character)... alas, stay away from that guy, young lady.

The three actors who reprise Ledger's role while in the imagination do quite a good job, and Gilliam has made them fit into the story quite naturally. Johnny Depp was a little annoying as he slipped into his typical Burton-film speech, but I very much enjoyed Jude Law and Colin Farrell who had more subtle performances.

When the film slows to a close, many may be confounded by the story. But as someone close to me said, "[Parnassus] is atmospherically mind-blowing, but plot-wise a little meandering." You are taken for a ride somewhere, but the conclusion is fuzzy, because really, it doesn't matter. The experience in this movie is driven mostly by the eye, and dare I say, the heart. Let your brain sit this one out... it'll just get strained, anyways.

Atlantic Film Festival Review: Act of God

I'm a handful of movies and two parties into the Atlantic Film Festival and am starting to feel the strain of the late nights. I'm seeing a movie every night this week and two in a row on Friday. I'm making very good use of my bus pass and am getting over my "seeing movies alone" stigma. Bueno.

In partnership with ReelNinja.com, I'm scrawling down a few reviews. I'm not the most competent reviewer, but I do like movies a lot and spend a lot of time watching them. First up, Act of God. Look for a review of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus coming soon...

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"I can't accept that it happened for a reason, nor can I really accept that there is no reason. The only way to carry on is to be humble, and a little bit in awe of these things you can't really understand."

Act of God is the newest film from director Jennifer Baichwal, best known for her 2006 film Manufactured Landscapes. It is film about how people cope with being on the receiving end of something so powerful and out of their control. Lightening plays the deus ex machina and comes down from the sky to irreversibly change a person's life. Broken, they must struggle to reform their understanding of the universe.

Through interviews with those struck by lightening, those who had close calls, and others who lost family members, Act of God explores how these people deal with an event that is so rare, and traces back the events in their lives that brought them to the lightening. A constant theme throughout the movie is the subjects' thoughts on why they were struck; was it their fate or a completely random event? Not surprisingly, many take comfort in either possibility... that they were chosen by God, or on the contrary, that it means nothing.

The film includes some beautiful images and film clips of lightening storms, many of which seem to be lifted from YouTube. The progression of the film, like perhaps its subject, is very random. It is not a scientific exploration of this violent event in nature, but a deeply personal journey about those who have been changed forever in a two-second strike.

The metaphysical exploration of lightening strikes also leads into a discussion of electricity in the human brain, and how randomness changes the way our brain works. This is illustrated by a man whose brain waves are being observed on a computer while he plays an improvised guitar solo that is inspired by lightening.

Act of God contains powerful moments, but it loses strength in the selection of material and the jerky progression of the film. Segments stick out as being too loosely connected to the subject matter, when the film would have benefited from a more focused story. The film as a whole shows humanity's fear and awe of nature, but sometimes ignores its subject, lightening, and the clear science behind it.

I heard a few people on the way out muttering that they thought it was supposed to be a film about lightening. Besides the clips of storms, the subject really could have been just about anything... a hurricane, a plane crash, a drive-by shooting... any event that relinquishes our control and throws us to the mercy of the universe.